You're not here
by TheProcrastinationFox
Summary: Yang has some trouble sleeping after Volume 3. Short story about Yang's road to recovery.


In the midst of a twilight that had fallen upon patch, Yang lay awake on her bed. Her face stained a salty red from the tears that had come and gone in the hours past. It was all far too much for her to take in and it had swelled up the upper limits of her emotions and threatened to break any last thread of her sanity. Yang was known for getting back up after each punch and dealing it back twice as hard. But sometimes there comes a day when the world just hits a little too hard. Breaks past the point of getting up and fighting back. Sometimes the only option was to lie down and recover. Let the wounds heal, the headaches stop, and the tears dry. The time for punching back would come, and It would be much more than twice as strong. But for now, it was time for rest.

That did not mean that rest came easily. Yang had nightmares and sorrows that ripped away any attempts to relive her exhaustion. Yet still she persisted, not by an unbreakable drive but by the lack of any energy to do anything but claw at shreds of sleep. Even if they came in the form of small luls in her consciousness that would only partially return her to a state where she could move an extremity. But never enough energy to move one particular. No person could ever achieve the feat of moving something that was non-existent.

The girl laid hopelessly on the bed after being roughly torn back into the world of the awake by another flashing image of that vile night. Staring up at the ceiling was almost meditation. It achieved to slow her racing heart and her throbbing head. But it would never make her forget, and it would certainly not heal anything. But yet she continued to do so. Thinking was an enemy that was also her most trusted ally. She would spend time motivating herself mentally, telling herself that she needed to become herself again. But other times she would tell herself she would never be the same, she was different. Changed without warning and without mercy. It threatened to break her even more.

Once Yang felt that her thoughts had waged their wars enough for the night, she turned to look out the window. The night was high, the moon was full, and the shadows were dark. Black trees stood donned with black leaves in front of a navy blue sky. The night was littered with white stars that radiated light along the snow dusted ground. It was picturesque to anybody except those who didn't care, and Yang was one of them. She never liked the cold, cold just reminded her of all of the terrible events that led her to where she was, because that's how she feels. Cold, empty, and dark. It was the cold that isn't solved by a blanket or a mug of coffee. That cold that creeps along your rib cage and weaves it's way into your existence. The cold that doesn't always fade when summer comes around.

Yang felt her head start to drop and eyes start to sag and her last thought was a soft and weary thank you to whatever force was granting her the ability to sleep. But instead of fading to a hazy slumber, she was jolted by another flash of red and a burn of yellow. Her eyes opened and she sat up. Not breathing heavy, but not without a look of pure shock in eyes.

"Yang" called a whisper from the dark.

Yang was so exhausted she almost didn't even recognize it as a voice. But once she processed what happened, she understood it not to be a trick of the mind.

"Yang" a little louder this time.

"H-hello?" Yang whispered into the dark.

Yang had half a mind to ignore it but the voice had a sting of familiarity to it that Yang could not identify.

"Yang" once more from the dark.

That voice. It was not scaring her. It was almost soothing. Like it was the only voice she could recognize no matter the size of the room and the number of occupants. And that was because the voice was exactly that. The only person Yang could always recognize no matter where they went or why they do.

"Yang!" Called the voice, this time right behind Yang, making her jolt in her position.

Sitting on the bed was the voice. Or rather the owner of the voice. Yang's partner. Yang's friend, her teammate, and the reason her life was so terribly miserable.

"Blake" Yang half asked in a whisper.

"Hello yang" Blake said. Giving a very cautious smile.

"But how are yo-" yang started

"Shhhh" Blake said, pointing her finger up one her lips "come with me"

She grabbed Yang's hand and instantly they were walking down the hall. Yang felt the warmth in her hand, the feeling of Blake. Not worrying, not angry, not crying. Just feeling her hold her hand and knowing she was there. It had been a long time and she knew that she should be angry, but she wasn't. Just calm.

But the feeling faded as she realized that she was holding her hand. Not just any hand, but her right hand. The air that had housed itself where her arm used to be had been filled once again with the familiar feeling of flesh and bones and heat and life. The flood of emotions that rushed into Yang made her almost get swept away as she continued to follow Blake right out the front door of her home. Once outside, Yang looked to the sky and saw a strange haze of black with purple clouds swirled into the sight, and one large golden moon. Broken and suspended over the two as they walked far into the woods.

Yang, still dazed from the rapid changes in the last minutes, looked at the girl holding her hand and leading her into the darkness. She noted that Blake had stopped pulling on her hand a long time ago, and now their hands lay suspended as a bridge between them.

"Where are we going?" Yang

"You will know when we get there" Blake said, this time turning and giving Yang a comforting smile.

In any other scenario, with any other person, Yang would have thrown at least a punch by now. Being led into the darkness by anyone could mean harm. But this was different. It was Blake. Blake, the one who left, but the one that Yang would trust with her life. Blake the one she was hurt for, and the one she would do anything for. Blake was everything to Yang.

Yang continued to stare at the back of the girl's head, and soon they came to a wall of shrubs, vines and moss blocking the path. But it did not hinder their progress as Blake easily pushed aside the overgrowth and walked through, with Yang following close behind.

Emerging from the vegetation, Yang's face turned to one of absolute awe. They stood together on the dock of a lake.

"This is the lake. The lake that Ruby and I learned to swim at, and spent summers-" Yang started to say, excitedly and reminiscent.

"I know" Said Blake, finally letting their hands fall apart. Sitting on the shore of the lake, gesturing for yang to join her.

"What do you mean?" Yang said, looking into Blake's eyes while taking a place next to her.

"I know a lot about you. More than you realize" Yang looked at her quizzically as Blake continued to talk "I know how you saved Ruby's life once, after she fell out of a canoe and you swam to save her."

"How-" Yang tried to say, But Blake continued to talk without pause

"I know you would spend your days reading on the pier, feet wading aimlessly in the water. You spent so much time at this lake that your father planted sunflowers here. They reminded him of you. You even helped plant them. Those days are gone now, and the flowers have wilted, and the pier has rust and rot. But the dock is still here."

"I guess it just kinda got forgotten over the years" Yang said, folding up her arms, as she continued tears started to well in her eyes "Why did you bring me here? And why did you come back? What happened Blake? Please tell me"

"Yang I…. I didn't come back" Blake said softly.

"What do you mean? You're here." Yang choked out.

"Look around you. The sky, your arm is back, were at the dock you haven't visited in years. Where do you think we are Yang?" Blake asked, gesturing around her.

"I don't know" Yang said, holding back her tears as she was questioned.

"Yang, Neither of us are here. You're in patch and I'm somewhere halfway across the world. There would be no way I could physically be here in any rational manner. So Yang, where are we?" Blake said, calmly but with a bit of a of force.

"I…...I'm dreaming" Yang said, looking down at her arm and up at Blake.

"Yes Yang" Blake said in a whisper.

"So you aren't here" Yang said, broken inside.

"Not physically" Blake said.

"Then why can I hear you, see you, I can even touch you. It's not fair! I thought you were back and now I know you'll be gone again once I wake up. Blake just please stop leaving." Yang said angrily.

"I can't do that. But we have some time now. Please, your mind needs rest. Tomorrow you will wake up with a full night of sleep. Please don't waste this opportunity to heal. You need it. Yang, I need you to fight. I need you to be strong"

"But I need you" Yang said, a sob had formed as Blake spoke.

"I know. I know." Blake said as she took her hand and rested it on Yang's chin. Her thumb wiping away tears, and her eyes studying the girl's face that was still stained red from the restless nights.

"So you're not real?"

"No, just your imagination"

"Then can I ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Could….I wa..I...Blake, I need you. I can't fall asleep without you. You may be gone, but you're here now and I need you"

"I understand" Blake said softly, Wrapping her arms around Yang and bringing her so she was resting on her lap.

"Blake?"

"Yes?"

"I….I loved….I love..you" Yang said, looking out across the lake, not daring to face her partner.

"I love you too" Blake said

"Is that you talking or my imagination talking?" Yang whispered

"You'll have to find that one out on your own. I will see you again someday. It may be a while but we will meet again. But until then, you need to sleep. For yourself, for your family, for your friends, and for me. You're strong Yang. Stronger than I will ever be." Blake said.

Yang started to drift asleep as Blake talked, her voice soothed her and her touch comforted her. For the first time in forever, Yang felt safe. Like no nightmare would reach her. And She could maybe be normal again.

"Oh, and you should visit the pier again. Things need love to last." Blake said, her voice echoed and distant. "Until we meet again Yang"

Yang opened her eyes. Light cascaded into the bedroom as she lay there. Last night was rough. It was painful, emotional, and intense. But Yang had never felt so rested. Her eyes weren't red anymore and the bags under her eyes had reduced in size. Her body shed it's skin of lethargy for the welcomed feel of readiness.

Yang got out of bed and changed her clothes. After a week of not moving and not changing, even small victories made her feel proud. She even gave a weak smile as she smelled pancakes from downstairs. Following the sent into the kitchen, she found her father cooking and mumbling to himself.

"Good morning Dad" Yang said, pulling him into a hug. Surprising him and almost making him drop his spatula.

"Yang! How is my sunny little dragon?" He said, beaming with glee at the sight of his daughter finally recovering.

"Better" Yang said.

"I made breakfast. Is there anything you want to do today? We can go into town, watch a movie, stay in a play board games?"

"I want to take a walk" Yang said.

"Sounds lovely. Where to?" Taiyang asked.

"Do you remember the old pier we used to go to?" Yang said, as she filled her plate with breakfast.

"Of course! I'm just afraid that It won't be the same. No one has kept up the place and I've never had the time" Taiyang said, rubbing his neck

"It's ok. I just want to see it" Yang said

"Anything you want. We can leave after breakfast" Taiyang smiled.

It did not take long to get from breakfast to the pier. Taiyang smiled and talked up a storm the entire morning and the hike over. Yang would've said something but she realized just how much her father had helped her. She wanted to listen to him, about anything. Especially after ignoring him for so long.

"Maybe if we keep this up you could start training next week" Taiyang said.

"I'd like that" Yang said, Smiling to her father.

"Just up ahead. Man, I haven't seen this thing in forever!" Taiyang smiled as the pier got into their line of sight.

As they got closer it started to look familiar to Yang. The rust, the rot, the shape. All of it. Except the plants. All of the plants looked dark, and had a hint of purple. Plants she had never seen before.

"I'd say let's go onto the pier, but first it looks super unsturdy. And second, that's all poisonous plants, so let's stay away." Taiyang advised.

"How do you know?" Asked Yang.

"That plant that is covering the pier is nightshade. Deadly nightshade. It doesn't usually grow around here, weird to see so much of it" Taiyang said.

Yang got close to the plants and picked up a bud from one of them. She would never understand how. But she understood. She was not alone. No matter where she went, no matter what she did. She would always be loved.

Eyeing the bud in her hand she whispered "Belladonna".


End file.
